Part 2 of the Valentine Day series. A friend sent this in. Author unknown.
Why Do Families (And The World) Lack So Much Love?
Mostly, It’s Because Husbands Aren’t Loving Enough
Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with the President Gloria and
various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders). That was
where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist
Churches in the Philippines . We were talking about how to solve the
problems of the world. That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word
about families that blew my mind.
He said, “Brother Bo, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, ‘Husbands,
love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.’ Have you ever wondered
why the Bible doesn’t say, ‘Wives, love your husbands?'” ”
Why?” I asked.
The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the
family rests on the husband’s shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to
respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my
life verse) “We love because He first loved us,” we respond to God’s love
That was powerful. I began to reflect on all the broken families
I’ve counselled through the past 28 years of my life. Most of them (not
all ) were broken because the father didn’t love enough. And as I reflect
all the broken people I’ve counselled, I can see the same pattern. In most
of these individuals (again, not all), I see the lack of a loving father in
that person’s life.
Fathers, you have a pivotal role in the life of your wife and
children. You are to aggressively, assertively, deliberately love them-and
they will respond.
But the good Bishop was not finished. He said, “Why didn’t God
say, ‘Husbands, submit to your wife?'” ”
Why?” I asked again.
He said that once that love is there, submission is the natural
response . He asked, “Why is there so much rebellion and disobedience among
children today?” He explained that kids need to see their mother submit to
their father as a model to follow. (We didn’t have time to talk about
situations where the man of the house doesn’t love. Should the wife still
submit? That difficult question I hope to answer it in another article.)
But let me share with you my experience.
I love my wife. I do it aggressively, assertively, and deliberately.
And she submits to my leadership. I have a vision for the family
and I’m bringing my family to that vision-and she supports me.
But what does that mean in daily life? That I’m king and she’s my slave?
Gosh, you should visit my home.
Because I love her, I want to serve her. And because she follows
already my general direction, I realize that 90% of life’s decisions are
about the trivial stuff. Because I love her, it’s my joy to say, “Yes” to
her . So in reality, I follow her 90% of the time! She isn’t my slave. She
is the queen I pamper.
That, my friends, is marital headship-submission in daily life.
It is with this note that I greet you a Happy Valentines Day.
May your families be filled with love.
Husbands, take responsibility in filling your family with love.
Wives, support and submit to your husband.
And together, we can fill the world with God’s love.